The Price of Fame
As designer Hilary Farr considers what’s next, she looks to the past—and her 15 years hosting television’s Love It or List It—as a reminder of what’s important.
By Hilary Farr
I’ve been thinking about how I got where I am and what is best about it. As this year comes to its end, it feels right to think about the next chapter of my life. And that, of course, means a rehash of the last chapter, too.
In the 15 years I hosted Love It or List It, the dips and curves of my life took me through divorce, my son getting married, true love, cancer, lost love, the loss of my dog, a new dog and cat, grandchildren, new friends, lost friends and so much more. Through good times and bad, I know how lucky I am. But I wonder what it all adds up to and what my next chapter will be. So, right now, looking back is what I do.
When I was in the middle of my divorce almost 20 years ago, the toxicity of the process was horrible. The emotional and financial impact of a divorce is unimaginable. Thankfully, I had my build-and-design company, and it saved me. My clients trusted me to create their dream homes, a big responsibility that forced me to flip my brain from stress, anger and sadness to a place of beauty, empathy and imagination. Every time a project was completed, it brought me joy. That is how I survived and thrived.
The divorce was still dragging on in 2008 when I was chosen to host a new TV show, Love it or List it. The learning curve was extreme. I knew nothing about television, and there were so many embarrassing moments, crazy choices and mistakes. Lesson number one: Remember you have a live mic on because every word you utter can be heard by everyone—including the person signing your paycheck. It’s hilarious and humbling to look back on the early days. I leaned heavily on my smart and talented team to guide me.
The first 100 episodes were filmed mostly in Toronto. Our budgets were very tight, making designs a challenge. I wanted to create grand spaces but needed back up. It’s impossible to create magic without leaning on a precious few who have the vision to understand your ideas. One of the standouts was Kevin Brooks and his family business, Latitude Countertops. From day one, he brought me the latest and greatest materials and perfect installations, so that our kitchens were spectacular no matter the budget. He is a hero of mine for developing the Latitude OFFCUTS program, salvaging materials to be reused rather than end up in a landfill. That’s where I found the huge marble slab for my kitchen island and backsplash. Fifteen years later and we still swoon over material and ideas, and he is one of my closest friends.
Amid so much turmoil in the world, I’ve often wondered if what I do is frivolous and meaningless. And then, someone stops me to say that watching the show helped them get through some awful life crisis. It’s a reminder that meaning can be found in many places.
At the risk of sounding preachy, celebrity is a fun ride but it’s also a platform, a gift to help shine a light on charities and foundations that do wonderful work for this world.
So, my next chapter will be interesting, with more time to think about how I want to spend the next 20 years, and then making it happen. My friends and supporters will be with me for the ride. I have worked hard to be where I am. Celebrity wasn’t the goal; it was the result. Fame should be earned, and then used well.